


Pictures Of You/Lovesong

by Sashataakheru



Category: The Chaser RPF
Genre: Angst, Broken Hearts, Character Death, D/s, Failing to Cope, Guns, Lovesickness, M/M, Masochism, Old Relationships, Past Relationships, Revenge, Suicide, Threesomes, Violence, author/character arguments, breakdowns, i had weird ideas about bdsm, relationship breakup
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2006-08-30
Updated: 2007-08-21
Packaged: 2018-08-09 22:15:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7819297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sashataakheru/pseuds/Sashataakheru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Chris breaks up with Craig in the worst way possible and he. does. not. take. this. well. A trainwreck of a fic that ends in disaster. Posted as is, with narrator/Craig arguments, editing, and all teh angst and woe I was capable of producing ten years ago. </p><p>The epilogue, <a href="http://archiveofourown.org/works/7819498">Charades and Shadows</a>, is posted separately.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Pictures of You: Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> My Actual Notes On This Fic:  
> What was supposed to be a nice Chris/Andrew fic has become a rather angsty Chris/Craig fic. This is all Craig’s fault. He’s one evil little muse. Yeah, and I thought Hamish was bad. Craig decided he could hear my third person narration and proceeded to comment and interrupt me as I was writing, much to my annoyance. Hence the whole fic does have a sort of bias towards him, if only because you only get to hear his thoughts. So if Chris comes across as a bit of a jerk, blame Craig for that. He was quite adamant only his thoughts would be heard.
> 
> It’s set sort of in an alternate universe, sort of not. The only setting that has come to mind is that imagine if The War set were an actual house the boys lived in. I haven’t been able to work out if it’s got more than one floor though. It’s bringing up some interesting architecture, I can tell you that now. It’s clearly not on the ground floor because there’s this corridor I can’t get out of my head that’s whitish and looks down onto the alley beside it. So it must be in some giant warehouse thing. Big windows. Why that corridor’s there I don’t know. There’s all these small rooms and such. I’m geeky enough that I actually attempted to make floor plans. XD Still must work on them though. 
> 
> This fic was musically (and lyrically) inspired by The Cure’s Pictures of You and Lullaby, and El Tango De Roxanne from Moulin Rouge. Oh, the angst!
> 
> And we’ve developed an interesting ‘Andrew-was-Charles’-Master-before-Julian’ theory that I’m exploring now. XD Yay.

“What’s with you and Andrew?” Craig says, sounding hurt but trying not to show it. He can’t bring himself to acknowledge Chris and Andrew as a couple because admitting their relationship is real is more than he can bear. _That’s because the fucker only went and dumped me, then hooked up with him the very same night. You wonder why I’m hurting?_

It’s the first time Craig’s felt brave enough to discuss this with Chris in three and a half weeks since it happened. He’s not sure why the best time is now, or even if it is the best time, but the words have left his mouth before he can stop them. _Yes, yes, I know. Stupid, wasn’t it?_

“It’s not what you think it is, Craig. It’s-” 

Chris finds himself unable to say exactly what it is, as if saying what it is makes it real and not just some stupid thing that happened when he was pissed. Something he probably could’ve handled much better than he did. He does sort of remember that night. He’s a little surprised this is the first time Craig’s mentioned it since then, though, but, he had kept his relationship with Andrew fairly quiet. Andrew said it was best, and Chris trusts his judgement. He’s been dreading this conversation though. Of what he can remember of that night, he had gotten drunk, dumped Craig and gone to bed with Andrew. Probably not the best way to dump someone you work with, live with and still actually like. Craig has every right to be pissed off at him _(Of course I have every right to be angry at him!),_ Chris reasons, but that’s not going to make him change his mind and take him back. _Fucker._

“I thought we had something together. We’re good mates, aren’t we?” Craig says. _God, that sounds pathetic, doesn’t it? I’m sure I could’ve come up with something better than that._

“Of course we’re mates. It’s just… It’s different with him,” Chris says finally, avoiding detailed descriptions. He’s not sure Craig wants to know. _No, I really don’t. Don’t even think about telling me._ Stop interrupting then. _Fine. Hey, why do I get italics?_ Because otherwise it’d look like I was talking to myself. _Aren’t you already talking to yourself?_ No. You insisted on commenting. I never asked you to. Now shut up. 

“Different? Of course, it is. Why would you want someone like me?” Craig says, turning away from Chris, unable to look at him. 

“Oh, don’t be like that. You know I still-” 

“Don’t say it. Don’t fucking say it. You know that’s not what I want from you. I’m just a worthless little slut to you, aren’t I?” Craig snaps. 

“No, of course you’re not some stupid little slut,” Chris says. 

“Then why the fuck did you treat me like one? You think I’m fucking worthless, don’t you?” Craig says, surprised at the anger in his voice. _Wow. I hadn’t intended on saying that, you know. God, he gets me so angry._

“No, no, of course you’re not worthless. You know you’re not worthless. Come here, Craig,” Chris says, opening his arms to him as he approaches him. 

“Fuck off. Stop pretending you care. You have no idea what I am, never have, never will,” Craig says, brushing Chris off and leaving the room. _Bastard. Time to hide, I think._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

“Oh, for fuck’s sake,” Chris says as he goes after him, but finds him nowhere when he gets into the corridor. “Damn,” he says. He looks up to see Andrew coming towards him. He can’t help but smile. 

“Lost something, Chris?” Andrew says with a grin as he comes to a stop beside him. 

“Craig’s pissed off at me. I don’t think he likes the idea of us being together,” Chris says. _You got that right._ Fuck off, you’re not even in this bit. 

“Well, that’s a given, considering how you dumped him,” Andrew says. 

“Yeah, but still-” 

“You were pissed, hell we both were. You were all over me, he saw us, you dumped him and things went from there. Can you really blame him for being angry about it? Couldn’t you have at least dumped him before you decided to hit on me?” Andrew says. 

“Shit. God, what was I thinking?” Chris says. 

“I’m not sure you were thinking. And truth be told, you weren’t exactly good to him either. You used him more than I think you’d like to admit.” _Yeah, understatement of the year._

“I never used him. I was good to him. What the hell’s he been saying about me?”

“He never said anything. He never told you because he knew you couldn’t see it. Hell, everyone could see it but you. And then you proved what a jerk you really are by getting drunk, dumping him and making out with me. He’s really much more sensitive than he looks, you know. You of all people should’ve known that,” Andrew says, sounding somewhat concerned about it, but not enough to be greatly troubled by it. Chris has made it abundantly clear he wants him, not Craig. _The bastard._ Still, the unspoken tension has to go. It’s making everyone uneasy. _No kidding._

“He hid it well, didn’t he? What are you trying to say? You dumping me, are you?” _Oh, please do._

“It’s been three and a half weeks, Chris. You really need to sort this out. You’re just driving him away by ignoring this, and we aren’t doing this without him. Now, go find him. Talk to him. Do something useful.” 

Chris thinks about arguing further, but gives in, realising it’d be pointless. “Fine. You didn’t see where he went, did you?” 

“I might’ve seen him run past. Looked pretty upset too. You’d better not mess this up. He may not be that forgiving!” Andrew calls as Chris heads off in the direction Andrew came from. _The day I forgive him will be the day hell freezes over._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Craig finds himself sitting on the floor behind something solid, staring at the wall. He’s run to the room he always runs to when he doesn’t want to be found. It’s dark, secluded and quiet, and Chris isn’t here. He’s not quite sure what he’s feeling. Three and a half weeks is a long time to pretend you’re not upset at something when you have to work with the person who’s responsible for making you so upset in the first place. He’d managed to hide it well enough, though it was clear there was some sort of nagging tension between them. He forced himself not to think about it when he was with them. _Yeah, like that was easy._

That Chris and Andrew are now together hasn’t been mentioned, but it’s obvious from the way they act around each other. But because no one dares to mention it ( _Cowards!)_ , Craig has had nothing but the slightest pitying glances from the others, making it even harder to deal with. _Fucking_ c _owards._ He’s had no one to console him, no one to confide in. He hasn’t felt brave enough to mention it. 

In the past three and a half weeks, he’s had plenty of time to ponder what it is he’s feeling. Yet, he still finds it hard to define. Anger? Jealousy? Betrayal? Love? It shouldn’t be this hard to work out, should it? Being dumped by someone who never treated you well in the first place should make you angry, shouldn’t it? _You’d think so, wouldn’t you?_

“So why do I still want him?” he finds himself whispering. 

He pulls out a small metal box hidden in a crevice behind a book case. Opening it, he pulls out all the photos of them together that he’d kept. Looking at them now makes him want to cry. They all seem so fake now. He hasn’t looked at them since that night. Couldn’t bear to see them, even though he’s spent so long looking at them he has them all memorised. He singles out his favourite, taken on his birthday last year. 

He remembers the night they spent together after that particular photo was taken. For once, Chris didn’t want to rush. They spent the whole night together, Chris giving him everything he had. Chris was gentle, passionate, it occurred to Craig he was practically worshipping him that night. And the sex… The sex was amazing. Craig couldn’t remember how many times they fucked. _OK, I will admit I enjoyed that night. You try not enjoying it when he’s doing that to you._

Now, he can’t see that night as anything more than another instance of Chris’s manipulation. _Manipulation?_ Well, what else was it? He manipulated you, made you believe he really cared about you, then dumped you and insulted you as he lay there with Andrew. What the fuck else was it, if it wasn’t manipulation? _No way. I don’t want to believe he did it on purpose, that would be too cruel for words to do that to someone for so long._ Still, not a good way to keep someone’s trust, is it? _Hardly._

“How can I believe a word you say when you lied to me every time you said you loved me?” he says softly, angrily tearing the photo in half. “What the hell did I do to deserve that from you?” 

He hears the door open and turns his head slightly in acknowledgement, wiping away the tears from his eyes. He keeps silent and hopes that whoever it is will go away, especially if it’s Chris. _Though the thought of tearing him to shreds right now really does appeal._

“Craig, you here? Craig?” Chris calls, seeing nothing but an empty room before him. 

Craig remains silent, bringing his knees up to his chest, not ready to talk to Chris just yet. He doesn’t want him to see how upset he really is about this. After a few tense moments of silence, Craig hears a frustrated sigh and the door closing again. 

“Good. Fuck off. I don’t want to talk to you right now, Chris,” he says ~~to himself~~. _Who else am I speaking to?_ Shut up. 

Unable to stand looking at the photos anymore, Craig tears them to pieces. They’re worthless to him now, remnants of a love he doesn’t want to remember. _Fuck no._ He notices a box of matches on the floor and picks them up. Without thinking twice, he lights one and throws it into the box, watching the photos catch alight. 

“Fuck you, Taylor. I’m not your little slut. I deserve better than that,” he says as the flames rise. 

He stares resolutely at the flames before him, watching the photos burn away. He will not cry, no matter how much he wants to. He won’t give Chris that satisfaction. _What did Chris call me that night? That’s right, ‘a stuck-up arrogant narcissistic pretty boy who’s most interested in admiring his own reflection’. Bastard. Words can’t express how much that had hurt, in spite of how not true it is_. _It had come from Chris, which was all that mattered._ He could’ve taken that insult from just about anyone, but not from him. Suddenly all the time they’d been together felt redundant. Fake. Craig felt betrayed. _Of course I did._ ~~Was that how Chris really saw him? Why did he let them go on for so long if he felt that way about him?~~ _God, stop turning me into some whiny emo kid._ Stop being such a diva then. 

“I gave him everything. I thought he loved me. Turns out he liked me most when we fucked. Bastard. Treated me like some cheap fuck toy, nothing more. Thought he could buy my love by showering me with gifts. He always found ways to make me believe he loved me just when I was about to give up on him. My love can’t be bought, and fuck him for daring to believe I’m that cheap. I’m no one’s ‘little slut’, as he so eloquently called me. If only he’d listened when I tried to tell him this, things might’ve been different. Andrew can have him. Let him use him like he used me. Then we’ll see how he likes it,” he says. He buries his head in his arms, frustrated beyond belief that he’s still this upset over something that happened three and a half weeks ago. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Chris finishes his search without finding Craig anywhere. He returns to the living room and slumps down into one of the chairs, annoyed at Craig’s ability to hide and stay hidden. _Oh, come on, you can’t deny it’s a very useful talent._ I never said it wasn’t. Chris goes over every room he visited – and there weren’t many of them – and tries to work out which one he’s hiding in. A voice breaks him from his thoughts.

“Something wrong, Chris?” Julian says, glancing over at him. 

“What? Oh, nothing,” Chris says distractedly. He looks over at Julian, surprised to see him sitting there reading, though not surprised to see Chas curled up beside him, sleeping, his head resting in Julian’s lap. Chris smiles a touch seeing Julian’s hand resting on Chas’s shoulder. _He’s like a little puppy dog, he is. No, really, he is. Most of the time, it’s adorable. Sometimes it gets annoying._

“Yeah, sure it’s nothing,” Julian says. 

Chris gives an irritated sigh before giving in. “Craig’s being a fucking diva again,” he says. _I’m not a fucking diva. Shut up, bitch._ You  are being a diva. Fuck off. 

“What did you do to get him angry this time?” Julian says. _Oh, where do I start?_

“Oh, it’s nothing major,” Chris says, dismissively. _Yeah, like hell it is._

“Do I need to go and talk to him again?” Julian says. _I’ll talk to anyone but Chris. And Andrew. Anyone but them. Traitors._

“No, well, he should be fine-” 

“Come here. Look after Chassy. Don’t wake him. I’ll go see where he’s hiding,” Julian says, extracting himself from under Chas. Chris manages a grateful smile and quickly takes Julian’s seat, letting Chas rest against him. Chris watches him go, wondering if he’ll be able to sort this out. He looks down as Chas stretches on the couch and settles again. He can’t help resting a hand on his shoulder. He leans back on the couch and waits. _Bite him, Chassy!_ Stop it. Don’t egg him on. _Like he needs the encouragement._ *glares* Stop it. Let me write. _Fine._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Craig pays little attention to the door opening again. _What? My mind was on other things._ A slight glance sideward acknowledges the soft sound of the door and the accompanying footsteps. He curls up again, hugging his legs, not wanting to be found. He stares at the wall, trying to will the intruder away. 

“Craig? Mind if I join you?” comes Julian’s soft voice. 

_Why’s he whispering? What’s he doing here? Did Chris send him? Yeah, most likely. Damn. Though Julian is the only one who knows I hide here. He better not have told Chris. He hasn’t told Chris has he? I’ll fucking kill him if he has._ Calm the fuck down. Did you not read the last part? _…Maybe._ Read it again. Go on. See? Good, now shut up. 

“Fuck off, Julian. I don’t want to see anyone right now,” Craig says. 

“What’s he done that’s so bad?” Julian says. 

“You wouldn’t understand. It hurts too much to talk about it,” Craig says, hastily wiping his eyes, not wanting to cry about it now. _Like Julian would care._ Oh, shush. 

“If he upset you this much, it needs to be talked about. I can’t have you hiding in here all day,” Julian says, taking a couple of steps forward. 

“Why not? It’d be better than seeing him,” Craig says. 

“You don’t mean that,” Julian says, coming to sit down beside him. 

Craig barely acknowledges Julian’s presence, staring straight ahead. “You don’t know what he did,” he says softly. 

“Must’ve been pretty bad to make you this upset. You burnt the photos?” Julian says, seeing the box and the ash inside it. 

“They hurt too much to look at. Reminded me what a lying bastard he is,” Craig says. 

“Want to tell me what happened?” Julian says. 

Craig glances over at Julian briefly. Something about Julian’s presence comforts him, and he realises Julian will get an explanation out of him one way or another. With a sigh, Craig gives in. _He does this to me every time. I can’t not tell him what’s wrong._

“So it wasn’t so bad, really, and I suppose I can sort of understand it, but that doesn’t make it any less painful. Like that was even the only time. I doubt he even realises how badly he’s upset me. What would he care? He never cared for me anyway in all the time we were together. Why should now be any different? You know what I’m talking about?” Craig says. 

“Sort of. How long ago was this?” Julian says. 

“Three and a half weeks ago,” Craig says. 

“What happened? What did Chris do to upset you so badly?” 

“They’d been drinking-” 

“They?” 

“Chris and Andrew. I heard them come home. Staggered in, made an awful noise. I was trying to sleep. It must’ve been after midnight. I got up when I heard them come home. I wanted to see Chris. I hadn’t gone with them because I wasn’t feeling too well. I found them in the lounge room. Chris… He was there with him, lying on top of him. They were… Well, I’m sure you can imagine. I could hardly believe what I was seeing. Then he… He must’ve heard me come in or something. He turned to look at me. I knew they were both drunk. He started yelling at me. Well, not quite yelling, but I didn’t like it. He was saying all these things. Called me all these names. Said he didn’t want me anymore. Said he wanted him instead. I never knew he felt that way about me. Eventually, I left. Went back to my room. I just sat there. Didn’t sleep the rest of the night. Too shocked. It’s not the sort of way you really want to be dumped. I don’t know if I can ever trust him again,” Craig says, staring straight ahead, refusing to shed tears over this. _Of course not. I’m not crying in front of Jules._ We’ll see about that, won’t we? 

“What did he call you?” Julian says. 

“…He called me his little slut. He was only ever interested in me for sex, the bastard. He thought he could buy my love, but I’m not some cheap whore. My love can’t be bought. I’m no one’s little slut, least of all his,” Craig says quietly. 

“I know you aren’t. No one has the right to treat you like that,” Julian says, bringing him into his arms. 

Craig rests against Julian’s shoulder, clutching onto him. _Oh, for crying out loud. I’m not a little baby. I do not clutch onto people._ It’s Julian, of course you do. “How could I let him do that to me? How could I let him lead me on for so long?” he says. 

“It’s not your fault. Don’t ever think it was. He doesn’t know the real you. Doesn’t know what he’s missing out on,” Julian says. 

“He said I was a stuck-up arrogant narcissistic pretty boy who’s most interested in admiring his own reflection,” Craig ~~whispers, the words still carrying the same sting they had when Chris first said them~~ says angrily. _That comment may have hurt, but fuck it, if I’m not pissed at him for saying it. I’m not some pathetic little shit who’s sulking in the corner, too afraid to deal with his problems and shit._ Really? Could’ve fooled me. “That’s what he thinks I am. Do I really come across like that? Do people really see me like that?” he says, looking at Julian, wanting to believe it’s not true. 

“You know that’s not true. If he thinks that’s true, he doesn’t know you at all,” Julian says. 

“Yeah, I know, it’s just… I could’ve taken that insult from almost anyone, but not from him. Now you know why I’ve been hiding. I don’t want to talk to him right now,” Craig says. 

“You can’t stay here all night. I won’t let you. You have to talk to him at some point. Don’t you think three and a half weeks is more than enough time to leave this?” Julian says. “Why let it go on so long without talking to him?” 

“Didn’t know what to feel. Didn’t know how to react. Should I be angry? Jealous? I still want him, you know, and I hate that I feel that way. He’s the first and only guy I’ve ever loved. How do you deal with that when he turns out to be such a jerk? I don’t know, I’ve been confused more than anything. That night was just so unexpected. Never saw it coming. I’m still not sure what triggered that. Has he always felt that way about me?” Craig says. 

“No idea. I’ve never heard him talk about you like that,” Julian says. 

“Tell me I’m being stupid about this. I shouldn’t care this much, should I? I should just drop it, forget it ever happened. Why do I let him bug me so easily?” Craig says. 

“Well, yes, I’ll admit that three and a half weeks is a bit of a long time to be bothered by something like this. Does he know you’re this upset by it?” Julian says. 

“I don’t know. Probably not. Like he cared before, why should be start now?” Craig says. 

“Why is it so hard to talk to him?” Julian says. 

“Because every time I look at him, I see nothing but a cheating, lying bastard. You’ve seen how he is with Andrew these past few weeks. I feel like he’s rubbing my nose in it, like as if that night wasn’t bad enough, he has to parade his new love with Andrew around for all to see. He’s gone from the cheap slut to true love. It’s sickening! And you haven’t helped. Like anyone’s said anything about it. I’m sick of the pitying glances. Grow a spine and do something!” Craig says angrily. _Finally the anger comes out. God, I was sick of the whingeing._ What, so you’re not allowed to be miserable? Please. Tell someone who cares. 

“What would you have me do? I won’t stop them being together. Sure, he could’ve handled that break-up in a much better way, but it’s done and over now. It’s time to move on,” Julian says, trying to talk some sense into him. 

“Move onto what? I still have to see them together, still have to breathe the same air as them. Can’t you understand how hard it is to forgive something like this? Sure we can say he could’ve handled it better, but he didn’t. And it hurts. So you tell me how I’m supposed to deal with this, because I’m fresh out of ideas,” Craig says. “And it’s not just the break up, because I hate how he treated me, and the bastard was too fucking stubborn to realise it, and I just want him to realise that and say how fucking sorry he is for making me feel like some cheap whore. I want him to pay for that. How dare he think so little of me? I want revenge, Julian. I want to punish him. I want him to hurt as much as I’m fucking hurting right now. I won’t let him get away unpunished. My pride won’t let this go unpunished,” Craig says, clenching his fists tightly, anger and rage threatening to overwhelm him. _Yeah, see, that’s more like it. Enough of all that fucking moping around. Time for revenge. Time to rip him to pieces. Time to let him know that I won’t be bullied by him anymore._

“Calm down, Craig. I mean it-” 

“No, he must pay for this! I’m not calming down until I get back at him! I won’t just sit here moping while he’s off fucking Andrew. I’ll get my revenge. Don’t try and stop me, Julian,” Craig says. _Stop me and I’ll take you down with me, Jules._

“Fine, you want to do this, go ahead. But this isn’t my problem anymore. Just try not to kill each other on the way, will you? I need you both,” Julian says. _You won’t want him by the time I’m done with him. He’ll be sorry he ever messed with me. I’ll kill him. I’ll fucking kill him, I will._

“If this is the only way I can find peace, so be it. I’m taking him down,” Craig says. _I’ll pound him into the ground._ Yes, yes, alright, you’ve made your point. Be quiet now. 

“Obviously, you’ve made up your mind. I just hope you know what you’re doing,” Julian says, getting up and leaving the room. 

“I know exactly what I’m doing. You won’t stop me now,” Craig says, staring at the wall, almost unaware he’s now alone. _Oh, I knew alright, I just didn’t care. I was too concerned with-_ Oh, can we stop with the revenge talk? Gods, you’ve made your point, alright? Shut the fuck up already.


	2. Pictures of You: Chapter Two

A week later, Craig sits at his desk, making a list. He’s been brewing this idea all week. The perfect revenge. If Chris only sees him as his little slut, he should at least be paid for the sex he gave, especially when he got nothing else in return from him. Three years is a long time, and they had a lot of sex. He does one final calculation to make sure he’s got his numbers right. He checks the letter over, making sure it’s correct before sealing it in an envelope. Now to deliver the bill. 

He stands and takes a deep breath, the anger firing up inside him without being asked. He storms into the lounge room where Chris and Andrew are, the envelope clutched in one hand. He’s so angry he’s bent it as he’s clutched it in his hand. Chris looks at him as he walks towards him, sensing this is not going to be pleasant. _Yeah, he got that one right, the bastard._

“Something wrong, Craig?” Chris says. 

“Yes, as a matter of fact,” Craig says, slamming the envelope against Chris’ chest. “You want to treat me like a slut, the least you can do is pay me for it,” he says, ~~turning his back on them as he walks away~~ glaring at him angrily. _Oh, fuck no. I’m not backing off now._ Fine. Happy now? _Yes. Much better._

“What? Pay you for sex? You have to be joking,” Chris says with a laugh. 

“You called me your little slut, didn’t you? That’s all I ever was to you, someone you could fuck whenever you wanted it. Oh, don’t say that’s not true, because every time I wanted it, you were distinctly not interested. If that’s how you’re going to treat me, I demand to be paid back for every time you fucked me. That’s not too much to ask from your little slut, is it?” Craig says nastily. 

“Oh, give it a rest. I never treated you that way. Can’t we just put all this behind us?” Chris says, trying to be reasonable. 

“Fuck no. Not til we’ve sorted this out. Not until I’ve got what I’m owed. Or would you like one last fuck before you settle down with _him?_ ” Craig says, pointing angrily at Andrew. It’s clear the rage and anger he’s been holding in for the last few weeks won’t be contained any longer. _You got that right._

“Leave him out of this! He’s got nothing to do with this!” Chris says furiously. 

“Don’t play stupid, Taylor. _You_ left _me_ for _him._ He has _everything_ to do with this!” Craig says. He turns his attention to Andrew, who’s standing off to one side. “Don’t you? You wanna fuck me too? Ask Chris. Am I worth it, bitch?” he says, looking back at Chris. 

“Craig, settle down. I’m on your side, you know,” Andrew says. 

“Yeah, what a great way to show it by stealing him away from me!” Craig says. 

“I did nothing of the sort, and if you’d just calm down, I’d be happy to explain it to you, because God knows I’m just as sick of the tension as you are, Craig,” Andrew says. “We could all see he was treating you bad, but he couldn’t see it, so if you’re going to be angry at someone, be angry at him.” 

“What? You don’t believe him, now do you? So you all think I’m a jerk, do you? Some friends you are,” Chris says. 

“Not just a jerk, you’re a bully and a selfish bastard. Did you ever love me at all? When did you let Andrew steal you away from me? I loved you with every ounce of my life for three years. Three whole years, Taylor! What did I get in return? Nothing! So please, explain to me why we were together for so long, because I’m struggling to see how you ever loved me in the first place,” Craig says. 

“It’s not as simple as that-” 

“Yes it is. Did you love me when you asked me out?” Craig says. 

“Yes, but-” 

“But what?” 

“Will you let me finish? I did love you once. But you wanted more than I felt I could give. Did you ever stop and consider that perhaps I was pulling away because I felt so overwhelmed?” Chris says. 

“Did you ever stop and tell me this?” Craig snaps back. 

“You wouldn’t have listened to me!” Chris says. 

“How do you know that? Did you ever try and see?” Craig says. 

“You never wanted to listen to how I was feeling. I could see it in your eyes, how they’d glaze over every time I tried. You never seemed interested in pleasing me, you only seemed interested in pleasing yourself,” Chris says. 

“That’s not true. You got way more gratification out of me than I ever got out of you. You were always too tired, or too busy, or not interested. How the hell did you think that would make me feel? _You_ came across as selfish, not me. I tried to get you to understand that, but you never wanted to hear it. Always brushed me away as if you had much more important things to do. I felt like I was never the most important part of your life. You wanted to be anywhere else but with me. You wonder why I felt so used, because you always expected me to be there when you needed me, but I never got the same courtesy from you,” Craig says. 

“That’s not how it was. You know that’s not how it was. What have I done to piss you off so badly?” Chris says. 

“What do you think? You know, I thought we were going ok, but out of the blue, you come home drunk and dump me. You think that’s just easy to accept? Especially when I have to see you fucking making out with him? Can’t you see how much that would hurt? When the fuck did you stop loving me, Chris?” Craig says, grabbing him by the collar and pulling him close. He stares into his eyes, searching for something he can’t quite identify. 

“It’s difficult to say-” 

“So say it anyway. I want to know how long you led me along like a love-sick puppy before you finally dumped me, you coward!” Craig says. 

“It’s not as simple as that. You don’t know anything-” 

“So fucking tell me already! I’m fucking listening!” Craig says. 

Chris stares at Craig for a moment, unsure what to say. The silence falling on the room is deafening, the tension like a thick fog. Andrew hesitates, not sure if it’s a good idea to get involved in this or not. He remains silent, watching them, knowing this isn’t over yet. 

“Lost for words? Cat got your tongue? Why won’t you tell me?” Craig says. 

“I-It’s not as easy as that… I was afraid to love you,” Chris says. 

“You what? What the fuck does that mean?” Craig says, not believing what he’s said. 

“You’re not easy to love, Craig. You made me fight my way into your heart, testing me constantly, as if you were terrified you’d lose my love in an instant. You were always so suspicious. I couldn’t even look at someone else without you looking at me as if I’d just run off and cheated on you. I wanted to pull away, but I still loved you. So I suppose I ended up distancing myself from you, and that was never my intention. Sorry I fucked up,” Chris says, sounding apologetic, but still not willing to take full responsibility for this. 

“I was suspicious because I was never sure I had all of you. There always seemed to be a part of you I could never have. I gave you everything, and you held back from me. And look what happened, I did lose you. You never cared. I would’ve followed you to the ends of the Earth if you’d asked. I’d have done anything for you. I did just about anything you asked of me. But you never wanted to reciprocate. I tried to make you understand, but your eyes told me everything. You didn’t care that I felt you were treating me like some cheap fuck toy. You didn’t care that I felt you didn’t love me. And just when I was about to break things off, you’d go and fucking make me remember why I loved you in the first place! Just as I was about to end it, you’d always come and bring me back. You thought you could buy my love, Chris! That’s what hurt the most! I’m not a stupid whore! I’m not some stupid slut who’ll go with anyone who can pay. That’s fucking insulting. How dare you think so little of me? I worshipped you, but you didn’t even care. You more than just fucked up, Chris, you destroyed any friendship we had. How can I trust you again? Can you really expect me to believe you now? Every word you said was a lie, and if I’d have realised that sooner, I wouldn’t be hurting so much right now. I was fucking stupid to believe for so long that you’d change. So get it though your fucking head that this is all your fault, and if you’re lucky, I might be able to forgive you, but I can’t see that happening any time soon. I feel like I’ve lost a friend, a good friend, all because of love. I’ll probably be leaving anyway, least for a while. I can’t stand to look at you. But, you know, good luck to you and Andrew. I hope you treat him better than you treated me, because I’d hate for him to go through what I’ve gone through,” Craig says, finally letting go of Chris and walking off, wanting to run away and hide again. _Wow, that was a great outburst, that was._ Took you long enough to get it out at last, didn’t it? _Who’s fault is that?_ Not mine. I just write the words, you provide them, it seems. 

“Hey, wait, Craig, please, let me explain-” Chris says, going to chase after him. 

“Leave him alone, Chris. You’ve hurt him enough,” Andrew says, grabbing him tight to stop him leaving. 

“No! Bastard! Let me go, Andrew!” Chris says, struggling to get free. 

“Stay here. Let him be. I did warn you that he may not be very forgiving,” Andrew says, closing his arms tightly around him. 

“He’d better come back. He has to come back. He just has to come back,” Chris says. _I don’t have to if I don’t want to._

“We’ll just have to wait and see, won’t we?” Andrew says. _Let’s see how long I can drag this out, hey?_

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Cursing Chris’ stubbornness, Craig runs to his room and begins packing. He’s leaving, and he’s leaving now. It’s not frenetic packing, more furious packing, as he grabs his most important belongings and shoves them into his case. He’s too busy packing to notice Julian standing in the doorway, watching him. 

“Going somewhere?” Julian says finally just as Craig finishes. 

Craig picks up his suitcase and looks at Julian. “This is all Chris’ fault. And don’t you try and stop me. I’m going now. If that fucker wants forgiveness, he won’t get it from me,” he says, pushing past Julian. 

Julian watches him go, wondering how he’ll break the news to the others. He closes the bedroom door and walks off, knowing he won’t be able to talk Craig out of leaving no matter how hard he tries. Nothing he can say will matter to him now. _Sorry, Jules, but I had to go. Nothing personal._

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Craig drives for a long time, not really sure where he’s going, just as long as it’s far away from them. He finds himself at the airport, booking a one-way ticket to the first place that comes to mind: Chicago. Why, he’s not sure, but it’s far away from them, which is what he’s after. His flight’s not til the morning, though, so he has a coffee while he decides whether he should just stay at the airport or find somewhere close by to sleep at. Considering the time of night, finding a vacant room may be more trouble than it’s worth. _Will just have to sleep here. Which is not so bad, really, but it’ll have to be somewhere I can’t be found in case they come looking for me._

_Will they come looking for me? Who knows? I hope not. I’m not ready to see them yet. Give me a few weeks alone and maybe I might call them or something, but not yet. I know Jules will leave me alone, and I know Chris won’t want to come after me. I just hope Andrew and Chas leave me alone as well. I really don’t want to see them at all._

Left with his thoughts and a long wait ahead of him, Craig secludes himself in one of the few food places open at that hour, hiding away in a corner, eating some semblance of dinner. Okay, so it was deep-fried and not particularly healthy, but it was food, sort of, and it would have to do. After eating, he leaves the café to find somewhere to sleep, finally finding somewhere secluded to curl up against the wall and sleep, wrapped in his jacket. Not the most comfortable place to sleep, but it’d do. Besides, he has a lot of time to kill. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Back at the house, it’s eerily quiet. Andrew glances over at Julian as he enters the living room. The look on his face tells him everything. This has not been a good day. Andrew’s grip loosens as Chris pulls away, slumping down on the couch. And why the fuck am I seeing Chris in his pink dress right now? Fucking hell. *kicks pink-dress!Chris away* No pink dress! Stop interrupting my thoughts, Craig. Evil bastard, you are. Stop giggling and leave me alone. I said stop giggling. _Aww, you’re no fun._ Stop it or I’ll put you in that pink dress for the rest of the story. 

“So he’s really gone then?” Andrew says. 

“Yeah. He’s gone. I didn’t try and stop him. He needed to get away from here,” Julian says. 

“Do you think he’ll come back?” Chris says quietly, looking up at Julian hopefully.

“I don’t know,” Julian says. 

“Food’s here, guys!” Chas says as he enters the room, laden down with pizza and beer. “Hey, why’s everyone so gloomy? Someone die on you?” he says, setting the food down on a nearby table as he joins them in standing around the sofa. 

“Craig’s gone,” Julian says simply. 

“He’s gone? What do you mean, gone?” Chas says. 

“He’s gone. I don’t know where he went, but he’s left. I don’t know if he’s ever coming back,” Julian says. 

“You’re serious? No fucking way. Who the hell pissed him off that badly?” Chas says. 

No one speaks, but it’s clear Chris is reluctantly accepting his part in this mess. He buries his head in his arms, avoiding looking at them. _Bout bloody time too, Taylor. Bout time you grew a spine._

“Chris? Fucking hell. What did you do to him?” Chas says. 

“I’ll tell you later, Chas. It’s a long story,” Julian says, speaking for Chris. 

“Shit. So what happens now?” Chas says. 

“Life goes on. What else is there to do?” Julian says. 

“What, so we’re just going to let him run away, leave us behind? No way. You can’t be serious,” Chas says. 

“Why bother? He’s made it clear he hates me. Why would he want to come back?” Chris says. 

“Chris, everyone hates you. What else is new?” Chas says, stifling a laugh. 

“I’m not joking, Chas. He hates me. Can’t say I don’t deserve it, though. I’ve been such a jerk to him,” Chris says. 

“Well, while you guys sit here moping all day, I’m going after him. Where do you think he went, Jules?” Chas says. 

“I don’t know. Might be in the country still, might’ve gone overseas, I just don’t know. He didn’t say where he was going. I’m not sure he even knew. It’s pointless chasing after him, Chas. Just let him come back on his own,” Julian says. 

“What if he doesn’t come back? What if he never comes back? Are you just going to sit there and let him leave, let him walk out of our lives for good, not even try to heal things at all? No way. I won’t let that happen. I’m going after him. Stay here and sulk for all I care. I’ll find him and bring him back,” Chas says. 

“Well, good luck to you then. When you find him, if you find him, tell him… tell him I’m sorry. For everything,” Chris says. “And if he… wants to see me again, I’ll be grateful for that. But I won’t count on his forgiveness. I don’t deserve it anyway.” 

“I’ll tell him. I’ll bring him back, just you wait,” Chas says, grabbing a pizza as he leaves. 


	3. Pictures of You: Chapter Three

Chas drives, heading for the airport. He figures it’s the best place to look first. If he’s not there, he’s probably not flying anywhere. He decides to try the international terminal first, just to make sure he’s not going to head overseas somewhere. The number of people here surprises him a little, and makes searching for him a little more difficult. There’s a lot of airport to search through. 

After a couple of hours of fruitless searching, Chas decides to call him in the off chance that he’ll answer. He doesn’t pick up, but he hears a phone ringing behind him that sounds oddly familiar. He turns around and finds Craig sleeping against the wall. Ending the call, he grins and calls Julian. 

“Hey, Jules. I found him,” Chas says. “No, no, for real. At the airport. Heading off to who knows where… Nah, not yet, he’s sleeping… Yeah, I’ll have a talk with him and see if I can’t bring him back, ok? See you guys later,” he says. 

Craig doesn’t stir as Chas settles down beside him, waiting for him to wake up. 

“Told you I’d find him,” he says to himself. “I won’t wake you, you look too peaceful there. Just don’t bite my head off when you wake up and find me here.” _Yeah, like you’re going to get away with this, Chassy._

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 Craig wakes a few hours later to find Chas sitting beside him, smiling at him. This is not what he had planned on. But at least it’s only Chas and not the rest of them too. “What the fuck are you doing here, Chas?” he says. He sits up stiffly, annoyed that he’s been found. 

“Couldn’t let you leave, mate. What’d he do to make you this angry, Craig?” Chas says. 

“You don’t want to know,” Craig says dismissively, not wanting to discuss it. _Like I’m in any mood to discuss it, especially with him._

“Come on, I’ll buy you some coffee and you can tell me what happened, yeah?” Chas says. 

“God, you’re insistent, aren’t you?” Craig says, annoyed. _Why can’t he just go away?_ Because that wouldn’t be any fun? 

“Come on. I won’t take no for an answer,” Chas says, pulling him up by the arm. 

“Alright, alright, I’m coming,” Craig says, getting to his feet. He grabs his bag and follows Chas. “You brought pizza and didn’t save me any?” he says, seeing the pizza box being discarded. 

“What? You were asleep. I didn’t want to wake you. Besides, it’d be horrible now,” Chas says, turning to look at him. “I’ll buy you something, hey?” 

“Yeah, yeah, alright. Not that there’d be much open now. It’s like, fuck, 3:30am. What the hell’s open this late?” Craig says. 

“This place?” Chas says, leading him into the one of the few cafés still open at this hour. 

There are a few people in this one, but being one of the few open, it’ll get most of the business. Chas sits him down in a corner booth and goes to order their food. Craig sits and waits. He rests his head against his hand, absentmindedly gazing around. He sighs. This isn’t going to be fun. He can’t not tell Chas, even though he really doesn’t want to. _Damn him for showing up. It’ll make it even harder to leave. Dammit, you’re going to work in a teary goodbye, aren’t you?_ Yes, yes I am. And none of that pouting will change my mind. _Damn you._ Seriously, don’t make me any madder or I’ll make the rest of them turn up as well. _Oh, don’t you dare-_ Then behave. _Fine._ Good. 

Craig looks up as Chas brings the food and coffee over. “They made you pizza?” he says. 

“Yeah, cost a bit, but it looks alright,” Chas says. “So, what’s with you and Chris? You two have been shitting me up the walls these last few weeks,” he says. 

“It was that obvious?” Craig says. 

“Honestly, yes it was. We all knew something was up, not that anyone knew for certain. But we noticed how cosy he was being with Andrew and guessed you guys had just broken up or something. Didn’t want to say anything in case we had guessed wrong. Was that it?” Chas says, taking a bite of his pizza. 

“He went out with Andrew one night about 5 weeks ago. Came home, pissed as anything. I went out to meet them, wanted to see Chris. And there he is, lying on top of Andrew, fucking making out with him. It was disgusting. Then he noticed I was there, and that’s when he dumped me. Fucking yelled at me, he did. Called me his little slut, amongst other things. And when it was all over, I just left. Too shocked to sleep though. It had come out of nowhere. Never saw it coming,” Craig says softly, though his voice is as angry as it always is. _Yeah, like I haven’t got enough to be angry about. I’ve spent a lot of time being angry recently, haven’t I?_

“Christ, well, that explains the weirdness then. Think you guys can ever be friends again? Cos, I mean, I don’t want you to go. I’ll miss you,” Chas says.

“I’ll miss you too, but I just can’t look at him any more. It just hurts too much. I can’t stand seeing them together,” Craig says. _I’ve had it shoved in my face for the last five weeks. I don’t need it any more._

“He’s hurting too, you know. And I’m not just saying that. I don’t think he expected you to just get up and leave like that,” Chas says. _Yeah, like he actually cares about me._

“I didn’t want to. I hadn’t planned on it. It just came out before I could stop it, and then I was on autopilot. I just had to get out of there. And then I found myself here. Flight’s in the morning, hence the sleeping. Couldn’t go back. Didn’t want to face you guys,” Craig says. _They’ll all hate me anyway. Why bother going back to that?_

“Why? You’re really going away? Don’t go. Come back. I’m not letting you leave and not come back. This isn’t your fault, you know,” Chas says. 

“Oh yeah? What do you know about it, hey? Nothing. Don’t presume to know what I’m thinking. I have to go, least for a while,” Craig says. 

“Can I stay?” 

“What?” 

“Can I stay, you know, until your flight? Let me see you go before I head back to the others. This might be the last time I see you for ages,” Chas says. 

“I’m not talking you out of this, am I?” Craig says. 

“Not in your life. Besides, don’t you want to know there are people here waiting for you when you get back?” Chas says. 

“Oh, stop it. Don’t make this any harder than it already is,” Craig says. 

“Then stay. Don’t get on that plane. Come back with me,” Chas says. 

“I can’t. How can I face them now? No, I’m going away. I’m getting on that fucking plane and getting the fuck out of here. I’m not ready to face them yet. I’m not ready to forgive Chris yet. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to forgive him. I don’t know if you can even understand what I’m going through, and I know that sounds selfish, and childish, but it’s hard to articulate what he’s done to me, how he made me feel. I’m sorry, Chas, I have to go away. He’s forced me to go. So if you want to blame anyone, blame him. I’m getting out of here,” Craig says. _If I stay any longer, I’ll likely strangle him. Best I go now and save them all the trouble._

“Where are you going?” Chas says. 

“That’s not important-” 

“Please, I won’t tell them. Otherwise, I might imagine you in Paris somewhere, or hiding in the Himalayas,” Chas says. 

Craig stifles a laugh. “You really want to know?” he says. 

“I do. Go on. I won’t tell, I swear. If you don’t want me to tell, I won’t,” Chas says. 

Craig stares at him for a minute, as if trying to decide if he can trust him. _I know he’ll tell Jules. And that won’t be so bad, because I know he won’t come and get me. But still. I don’t know if I want him to know where I’m going. Should I lie? How can I even think of lying to him now? I’ll just have to trust he’ll keep quiet. Nothing else to do._ “I’m going to Chicago. Why? First place I thought of. No idea what I’ll do when I get there, though. I’ll deal with that when I get there. Don’t tell Jules. Please. I want you to keep this to yourself. Can you do that for me?” he says. 

“If you don’t want me to tell, I won’t. Chicago, hey? Sounds like fun. Well, I hope you find whatever it is you’re looking for over there. We’ll be waiting for you when you get back,” Chas says. 

“You’re still assuming I’m coming back,” Craig says. _Right now, coming back to you lot is not on my list of things to do._

“Of course you’re coming back. Everything and everyone you care about is here. You won’t leave that behind forever. I know you won’t,” Chas says. He pauses for a moment. “Jules doesn’t think you’re coming back.” 

“Really?” _Yeah, and what would he know?_

“Yeah. He didn’t say it, didn’t need to. It was the way he spoke. His voice said it. They were all willing to just let you go. But not me. I couldn’t let you go, and even if I can’t convince you to stay, I want to say goodbye, because I hate the thought of you leaving like this,” Chas says. _Stop it. I don’t care right now._ Yes, you do. You wouldn’t be telling him to stop if you didn’t care. 

“What do you mean by that?” Craig says. 

“You know, what with all the tension and shit. You shouldn’t have to leave. It’s not fair. I want you to stay. Won’t you stay for me?” Chas says. 

“I can’t. Either he goes or I go,” Craig says. 

“It shouldn’t have to be that way. Why can’t you stay?” Chas says, still not willing to give up yet. 

“I’ve explained it, alright? I don’t want to talk about it anymore,” Craig says. 

“Don’t be like that,” Chas says. 

“You’re not helping. See, this is why I didn’t want you guys coming. It’s easier to leave without having you there, staring at me,” Craig says. _That and I don’t think I could bear to see their faces as I left. I don’t need that right now._

“So don’t go. Come back and we’ll sort this out. You don’t have to go,” Chas says. 

“It’s not that easy…” Craig’s voice trails off. _What, we’re going for a confrontation instead of a teary goodbye now?_ I never said that. Which would you prefer anyway, hmm? You letting Chas get to you, hey? _Oh, shut up._ That’s rich, you telling me to shut up. 

“Yes it is. Just come home with me. We can sort it all out then, ok?” Chas says, still convinced he can make Craig change his mind. _God, he’s a persistent little shit when he wants to be._

“Just… Can we stop this now and just… talk about something else? I’m tired of this talk,” Craig says. 

“Fine, fine, I’ll let it be. Can I still stay with you? I mean, if you still want me to?” Chas says. 

Craig looks at him and sighs. “Yeah, alright. Just – stop trying to convince me to come back. I’m going. Nothing will change my mind,” he says. 

“I’ll miss you. Just don’t stay away too long or I’ll have to come over there and bring you back,” Chas says. 

“No you won’t. You of all people will respect my wish to just get away from that place for a while,” Craig says. 

“Yeah, if you need to go, you go. But at least promise me you’ll come back. I can’t stand the thought of not seeing you again,” Chas says. 

“You really are going to make this difficult, aren’t you?” Craig says. 

“Hey, someone has to remind you that not everyone hates you,” Chas says. 

Craig can’t help laughing at that. “No, everyone hates Chris,” he says without thinking. 

“Hey, stop beating on Chris, will you?” Chas says, stifling a laugh. 

“He fucking deserves it, Chas. I mean that. And why Andrew? I mean, if it wasn’t someone I know and love, it wouldn’t matter, but why Andrew? Why so suddenly? There’s so many questions I don’t know the answers to. Why did he do that to me? Am I that worthless?” Craig says, the topic of Chris coming up again without him wanting it to. _Well, it’s hardly surprising, is it?_

“I don’t think it’s that. You don’t know about them? They were together years ago, well before you and I came along,” Chas says. 

“How do you know about it then?” 

“Julian told me.” 

“What did he tell you?” Craig says, sounding more demanding that he intends. _What? Inquiring minds want to know._

“They met ‘94 or something like that. Got real close. I don’t really know the details, but it was all over by ‘96, or so Julian said. Charles knows more about it than I do. Might want to track him down while you’re away,” Chas says. _Oh, you’re just teasing me now, aren’t you?_ Well, he does make a point there. Charles does know more about it than he does. _Fine. So am I going to get out of there at some point? Or are we just going to prolong this further?_ Be quiet and let me write. You’ll find out soon enough. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Leaving Chas behind as Craig walks through the gates to board his plane isn’t easy. He promised himself that he wouldn’t cry, and he manages to hold it all together until he’s on the plane when it finally occurs to him that he’s leaving. He’s flying half way around the world to get away from his ex. He muses to himself that he must be angry at him to want to escape that far. He’s had a few hours to calm down, so he can’t exactly blame this on him not thinking. And he has to admit Chas had done a very good job at trying to convince him to stay. He’d almost succeeded, too, but Craig’s desire to leave was stronger. 

Craig isn’t sure how long he’ll stay away, probably until his desire to return kicks in. And until then, find something to do in Chicago. It’s too late to back out now. Maybe he will take up Chas’ suggestion and track down Charles while he’s there. Might be nice to be around at least one familiar face. _Yeah, alright, you have a point there._ See, I know what I’m doing. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Chas watches the plane take off, taking Craig far away. Once the plan has disappeared into the sky, Chas leaves, tired and sad that he hadn’t managed to convince Craig to stay, but better for seeing him off. When he gets back, he finds everyone sitting around on the sofas, just like they were when he left them the night before. 

“What, did time stop when I left? Have you guys slept at all?” Chas says, curling up next to Julian. 

“Not much, no. What time is it anyway?” Julian says. 

“After 11am. You been up all night talking, hey?” Chas says. 

“So it appears. I don’t see Craig with you,” Julian says. 

“I did my best, but he was determined to leave. He’s gone, least for a while. He’ll be back though. I know he will. It’ll be alright,” Chas says. 

“I admire your enthusiasm, Chas. What are we going to do without him?” Chris says. 

“Carry on without him. We can’t just all shut down because he isn’t here. What can we do now? He’s gone. He’ll be back when he’s ready, I suppose. Til then, we get on with life,” Julian says. 


	4. Pictures of You: Chapter Four

Craig feels like he’s been flying forever by the time he finally arrives in Chicago. Travelling halfway round the globe had seemed like a good idea when he’d arrived at the airport, but now all he wants to do is sleep, or curl up and die, whatever happens first. But the familiar face that greets him as he wanders out of the airport to catch a taxi shakes him out of his daze. 

“Charles? How did you know I was…” Craig’s voice trails off in his confusion. 

“Going to be here? Chas called, said you wanted to see me. Lucky for you, I can’t stay here, so we get to catch another plane back to New York,” Charles says, taking Craig by the arm and leading him back into the airport. 

“More flying? But I just got here,” Craig says, suddenly not looking forward to more time on a plane. 

“Don’t worry, the flight’s in a few hours. I figured you’d appreciate a break before hauling you onto another plane,” Charles says. 

“Thanks. I hadn’t realised how long that flight was going to be. What time zone are we in again? What time is it?” Craig says. 

“It’s about half past 6 in the evening. Don’t worry about the time zone. You’ll perk up in a bit,” Charles says. 

“Yeah, whatever you reckon,” Craig says. 

“Trust me. I’m getting used to long haul flights. Hungry?” Charles says. 

“Yeah, just a bit,” Craig says. 

“No surprise there. Plane food is shit. Wouldn’t be surprised if it was literally shit either,” Charles says. 

Craig smiles at that. 

They catch up over coffee and a meal before finally flying to New York. Charles gets him home and refuses to let him sleep, sitting him down on the couch as he gets him some more coffee. Craig’s too fazed to worry about his surroundings now. He takes the coffee, sipping it slowly, wondering how much Chas had told him about why he’d left. _Nice way of skipping the boring bits. We could’ve had a nice chat in some café at the airport, but no, you wanted to go straight to New York._ Will you stop complaining? This is the important bit; therefore any chatting you might’ve done elsewhere can be skipped. Now shut up. 

“Good to see you chose the running away option, Craig,” Charles says as he sat down in one of the arm chairs. _I wasn’t running away, I was escaping Chris and Andrew._ All semantics; it still counts as running away. _Bitch._

“Didn’t know what else to do. Couldn’t stay there, I couldn’t stand to look at them any longer. What else was I supposed to do?” Craig says, keeping his eyes on the floor. 

“Don’t ask me. Chas just said you and Chris had broken up and that you were headed here to talk to me about why. No one told you about Chris and Andrew back at uni?” Charles says. 

“No, of course not. Chris never said anything, neither did anyone else. I had no idea they were even together back then until Chas mentioned it. Why did no one think to tell me when we announced we were together?” Craig says. 

“Probably wanted to keep it secret, I’d wager. Probably didn’t think it’d affect you guys at all. How long were you two together anyway?” Charles says. 

“I think it was nearly three years. We nearly broke up so many times, but he always found a way to bring me back. Just when I was about to dump him, he reminded me why I loved him. Bastard. If he didn’t love me, why did he bother trying to keep me so much?” Craig says. 

“How should I know? How’d you break up?” Charles says. 

“They came home one night, they’d been drinking, and I went out to find them all over each other, and that’s when Chris dumped me, amongst other things. Said I was just a stupid fuck toy to him. He was still in love with Andrew the whole fucking time,” Craig says. 

“Really? I hadn’t realised their bond was that strong,” Charles says. 

“Apparently it was. You were there, all those years ago, weren’t you?” Craig says, glancing up at Charles. 

“Yeah, it’s been a long time. There was a lot of bad shit happening back then. I’m not sure if it was because of Andrew and Chris being together or something outside it, but what they did wasn’t good for either of them. They were selfish little shits back then. Some wondered if they actually were in love, and not just fucking for fuck’s sake, but it was hard to tell when they were sneaking around all the time. They actually weren’t together for very long before it just got too much and they stopped being lovers. But they’ve always been friends, and even though I’m not sure why they’re bonded so strongly, I’m not surprised Chris wanted back with Andrew. Why are you so pissed off at them for this?” Charles says. 

“It isn’t obvious? Please, there’s more to it than that, isn’t there? You and Andrew have always been good friends. I’m sure he told you what happened. I just want to know, so I can try and put this behind me,” Craig says, trying to keep Charles on topic. _Nice to see you finally got this thing going in the right direction._ Nice to see you’ve finally turned up at last. I was wondering where my snarky commentary was. _Please. That first version was shit. Now you know where this is going, I’ll be butting in more often._ I’ll look forward to it. 

“You really want to know?” Charles says, almost hesitant to tell him the truth. 

“Yeah, I didn’t fly halfway across the fucking world just to catch up. Though it is good to see you again,” Craig says. 

“Likewise. It’s been a while since I’ve been back home,” Charles says. 

“So what happened? Why the fuck are they so madly in love?” Craig says. 

“It started with me, actually. Andrew was the first person I ever told about, you know, what Julian does to me. I wasn’t even asking him to dom me, it just… We were drunk, and it just sort of came out, and then he sort of, I don’t know, he took charge, and… I don’t really remember much apart from being tied up and humiliated, but it was wonderful, and Andrew… he knew what to do, somehow, and his touch was… And then I became Julian’s, and Julian’s wonderful too, he knows how to hit me, and he hits so hard, the pain is wonderful, glorious, and I’m freaking you out, aren’t I? I’m sorry. But, you wanted to know about Chris and Andrew, and I don’t think what happened would’ve happened if I hadn’t told Andrew about that stuff,” Charles says. 

“Andrew doms? I never knew he was that sort of person. He seems too…” Craig’s voice trails off, unable to think of the right word. 

“Fragile?” Charles offers. 

“Yeah. Fragile. That’s the word. He’s the sort of guy you’d expect to want to be beaten, instead of the one doing the beating,” Craig says. 

“Don’t fucking underestimate him. He’s not a sub. It’s the way he commands your obedience. You can’t fucking say no to him. If he wants to dom you, he’ll fucking get his way. It’s in his eyes. It’s this fire, this anger, it cuts through your defiance. He’s very different to Julian, even though they dom in similar ways. Julian sees you as a pet, a subservient creature. You’re not his equal; he owns you completely. You have no right to demand anything from him as you owe him everything. It’s his decision alone whether he takes you or not. He treats you however he wishes, even if you don’t like it much. You accept his treatment without complaint, you give him unconditional love, or he punishes you. You learn to gain pleasure from him in whatever way he sees fit. Andrew treats you like an experiment. He loves exploring, playing, trying to work out what makes you tick. He likes getting inside your head. He’s definitely not as physical as Julian. He likes mental slavery, though I did hear whisperings about him whipping Chris. Either way, he tries to make you do things you don’t want to do, tries to manipulate you, change you, see how far he can push you. You’re like a toy he can play with and obsess with until another new toy comes along and he drops you for the new toy. And he always tests anyone he’s considering taking on as a sub,” Charles says. 

“How does he test them?” Craig says, almost not wanting to know. _I know! I know! I read that other fic!_ Oh, shush, will you? Don’t spoil it for others. 

“He has this… I don’t know what it is… But he made me drink it, said it was good for me. Made me sick. I remember pain, being dizzy, and he was there, he told me he was testing me, said he had some tea or something to make me better. Said I trusted him. It was the way he spoke that made me wonder if I was the first he poisoned, or if there were others before me. He must’ve poisoned Chris as well. He must’ve done, because Andrew took him in as well, so he must’ve. Chris wore that collar too. That’s why they’re so strongly bonded. Me and Andrew too. He makes you take vows to him. And-and he cuts these little scars into you. Marks you as his. He owns you forever. You can’t get rid of him,” Charles says. 

“So how did you end up with Julian?” Craig says. 

“Andrew spent some time grooming me, I can’t remember how long exactly, then Chris came along, and I was… neglected somewhat, in favour of Chris. Eventually, Andrew offered me to Julian. He’d had his fun with me; now I was to become Julian’s pet. I hated Julian at first. He didn’t care what I wanted, didn’t care what I got pleasure from. He simply beat me until I was conditioned into gaining pleasure from it. Which is not to say I never wished for pain before, I just didn’t want it to the extent he first gave it to me. And Julian can hit a lot harder than Andrew. Julian broke me in less than a week. I was his then; still am to an extent. I still feel like I belong to Andrew too. They both own me. I bear both their marks. I will bear them til the day I die,” Charles says. _Well, naturally._ Stop being a smartarse. 

“Is there any chance I can win Chris back? Or is he lost to me for good?” Craig says, still holding out hope. _Do you know how fucking pathetic that sounds?_ Yes, I do. And it’s staying, so shut it. 

“I doubt it. Once Andrew’s made you take his vows, there’s no recanting them. If Chris has taken the same vows I did, you’ll never have him to yourself. He’ll always long for Andrew. I’m sorry that’s not what you wanted to hear,” Charles says. _You’re telling me._

“Why did no one tell me this before? Did everyone know?” Craig says. 

“I knew, Chris and Andrew knew, Julian knew, Chas knew, I think you and Dom were the only ones who didn’t know,” Charles says. 

“You know, this just adds to the sense of betrayal I feel. It was bad enough knowing that Chris and Andrew had somehow been secretly going behind my back, but to find out that seemingly everyone knew about Chris and Andrew’s past but me just hurts. It’s like you don’t trust me. Everyone hates me, that’s why they never tell me anything. I think Chris used the crush I had on him to his advantage, and I hate that I let him use me. I hate admitting that he used me. I was his little slut, just there to fuck when he wanted it, like some fucking inanimate fuck toy. And sometimes, I didn’t want it, but it was so hard to say no to him, and I’m such a coward for running away, but I don’t know how to deal with this, and it’s been far too long, and I have no idea what to do,” Craig says, furiously fighting the urge to cry. 

“Steady on, mate. Just calm down. And don’t feel you need to hide your crying from me. Best let it all out than let it eat you from the inside,” Charles says, moving to sit beside him, wrapping an arm around his shoulder. 

Craig stares at the floor, not sure what to feel. Charles isn’t turning out to be the ally he was hoping he’d be. He tries to be angry, but a sudden wave of tiredness creeps up on him, and soon he’s almost falling asleep in Charles’ arms. Charles shakes him awake long enough to get him to bed before leaving him to sleep. 

_And you’re going to leave it there, are you?_ Yes, while I work out where it’s going next. _It’s not just because you want it done, no?_ No, it’s not. You were going to fall asleep at some point. I figured I’d get most of the discussion done and then let you sleep. Or would you prefer to be even more sleep deprived, hmm? _Sleep is good._ Good. And work on the going insane thing, if that’s still what you’re wanting to do. _It might be, it might not be._ Don’t shit me around. Make a decision and stick to it. _Yes, ma’am._ And you can stop being sarcastic. Be happy that I’ve actually got this bit finished. _Fine. I’ll behave._ Good.


	5. Lovesong: Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My Actual Notes For Lovesong, because I posted them as separate fics even though they essentially are one complete story:  
> Sequel to Pictures Of You. OK, more like a continuation under a different title. Someone was prodding me with The Cure’s Lovesong, so Lovesong it is. Takes off right where Pictures Of You left off. Listening to the Disintegration album repeatedly today may also be responsible for this. And possibly watching Lost and Delirious one too many times. XD

“I still want him, you know,” Craig says, taking a seat beside Charles at the kitchen table. He’d been asleep for several hours. He was surprised at just how tired he was. He doesn’t quite remember the ‘Charles helping him into a bed’ part, but he’s grateful to have had a bed instead of having to sleep on the couch. 

“Hmm?” Charles says, glancing over at him, mid-breakfast.

 “Chris. I hate him, but I still love him. What the fuck is wrong with me?” Craig says. 

“He treated you badly, didn’t he? Why do you still want him?” Charles says. 

“Because it wasn’t all bad. There were times when it was wonderful. There were times when I felt like I was the most loved person in the world, and I’d give anything to have that back again,” Craig says. 

“You must be crazy to want that back. What are the chances he wants you back too?” Charles says. 

“I don’t know. I just miss him so much. You’d think after so many weeks I could just forget about him, wouldn’t you? How can I still feel the same way I did when we were dating? It’s driving me crazy. I want him so badly, but I want to tear him apart for what he did to me. How can anyone deal with being so conflicted?” Craig says. 

“Go out, get pissed, find some random hot guy to fuck, then come back and tell me you still want him. I’m not letting you sulk around in my house for two weeks,” Charles says. 

“Fine. I’ll go out later. What’s for breakfast? I’m hungry,” Craig says, giving in. 

“Cereal, toast, eggs, take your pick. Coffee?” Charles says. 

“Yeah. Whatever,” Craig says. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

 Craig leaves Charles’ place and heads into the city in the evening, looking for a place to get pissed and find someone to fuck. He wanders into several bars before he finds the club he really wants to be in. Not knowing much about the gay scene in New York, it’s sheer luck he manages to stumble across one of the better clubs in town. The music is loud, the drinks are good, and the guys are oozing sex and testosterone from every pore. It isn’t long before Craig’s accosted by a couple of guys who seem intent on buying him drinks all night. They are big, heavy built guys dressed in leather. Their muscles probably have muscles all of their own. Craig doesn’t quite know what it is about big guys like that that he likes so much. Maybe it’s the opportunity for punishment and rough sex. Either way, Craig hopes they’re the guys he’s going to end up fucking, because by the looks of them, they’d give him a night to remember. 

“Haven’t seen you around these parts before. New in town?” one of them says into Craig’s ear to make sure he’s heard. 

“Just visiting a friend,” Craig says. 

“What kind of sexy accent is that?” the second says with a grin. 

“I’m from Australia,” Craig says. 

“Oh, we love Aussies here, don’t we Jordan?” the second says. 

“Wanna come into the back with us?” Jordan says. 

“Yeah, sure, why not?” Craig says with a grin. 

_Are you planning for anything bad to happen? Because I’d like this to be a straight get pissed and fucked story, not a get pissed and raped story._ Such a killjoy, you are. I wasn’t planning anything bad. If they’re giving out ‘danger’ vibes, that’s their doing, not mine. _Fine, but I reserve the right to protest if it goes bad._ I’m not sure you’ll be in any state to protest if it goes bad. 

Jordan and his mate lead Craig into the very back of the club, to a locked off area with its own private bar. The noise is considerably softer in here, leading Craig to think they’ve sound-proofed it. Jordan seats Craig down on one of the couches and goes to get them drinks. 

“So, what’s your name?” the second guy says. 

“Craig. It’s a stupid name,” Craig says. 

“I don’t think it’s a stupid name,” the second says. 

“Yeah? What’s your name then?” Craig says. 

“Bartholomew, if you can believe me. But I don’t go by Bart because it doesn’t quite suit me,” Bartholomew says. 

“No, you don’t look like a Bart,” Craig says. 

“You are pretty cute, ya know. You on the rebound, hmm?” Bartholomew strokes a finger down Craig’s cheek. 

“Yeah, maybe,” Craig says. 

“So you broke up, and somehow decided to go visit a friend who lives halfway across the world. Must’ve been a bad break-up,” Bartholomew says, hand resting on Craig’s thigh. 

“He never loved me. I wasted three whole years of my life with him, and he was still in love with his old Master. Hell, I didn’t even know he had an old Master. My ‘friends’ neglected to tell me this when we first got together. Bastards,” Craig says. 

“You need better friends,” Jordan says, sitting down on the other side of Craig as he places drinks in front of them. 

“I know. That’s sort of why I’m here. I needed to get away from them all,” Craig says. 

“There’s a reason you never date friends. It never ends well,” Jordan says. 

“Well, I know that now,” Craig says. 

“And I suppose you’re out for a good time, try and get over that bastard, am I right?” Bartholomew says. 

“Yeah, pretty much. Get shitfaced and get laid. That’s the plan,” Craig says. 

“I’m sure we can help with both of those. We love little twinks like you,” Jordan says. 

Craig smiles and skulls his drink in one go. Almost as soon as he’s put his glass down, Jordan pulls him into a kiss, and Craig melts at the strong arms holding him. Not wanting to be left out, Bartholomew comes up behind them and begins sucking on Craig’s neck hard. The feeling of two large bodies pressed against him is turning him on far more than he’d anticipated. 

“Come with us to the dungeon, there’s more to play with down there,” Jordan whispers to Craig as he licks his ear. 

“Oh, you have a dungeon?” Craig says, still clutching onto him, a shiver of nervous excitement shooting down his spine. 

“Oh yes. It’s a very nice dungeon. Come on, slave, time to have some fun,” Jordan says, pulling Craig to his feet as he stands up. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Craig staggers back home around dawn – _You’re denying me my smut, bitch!_ Oh, shut up. I don’t feel like writing it, and it’s not really relevant anyway. _Is too! They were gonna give you kinky smut and you decided not to write it!_ I’m the narrator. Deal with it. _Since when have you chosen not to write smut?_ Since I decided not to, bitch. Now shut up so I can finish this – and tries his best to not wake everyone up as he heads to bed. He stops in the doorway of his room as he sees Charles waiting for him, sitting on his bed, head in his hands. 

“What are you doin’ here? Shouldn’t you be asleep?” Craig says. 

Charles looks up at him. “Have you been out all night?” 

“Yeah, what does it look like?” Craig says. 

“Why didn’t you call or something? I had no idea where you were.” 

“You’re not my mother, you know. I don’t have to tell you where I am at all times. Can’t a guy have a night out without having to account for what he did?” 

Charles stands to face him. “I know what you’ve been doing. You’ve been clubbing. Tell me, has it eased the pain somewhat? Has it helped deal with all that shit you’re supposedly dealing with? Or is it just a fucked up excuse for partying for two weeks and masking your hurt with alcohol and sex?” 

“Gee, what’s got up your arse? You told me to go out and get laid. I did so. Now you’re telling me not to? Make up your fucking mind, Charlie dear,” Craig says. 

“Don’t fucking call me that! I mean it! Go do something productive to deal with your pain instead of just running away from it!” Charles says.

“Christ, I’ve only been here one day and you already hate me. That has to be a record,” Craig says. _I so wasn’t for that record, you know._

“Look, I’m just trying to help. I don’t want you going back there as messed up as when you left. Jealousy can turn you mad. Don’t let it consume you. Leave them both behind. I’m telling you this because I don’t want you going crazy. Promise me you won’t let it take over. I know this is hard, but it will get better, I promise,” Charles says, grabbing Craig by the shoulders. 

“Yeah, and what would you know about it, huh? You don’t know what they did, how it made me feel-” 

“Shut up. I know exactly what you’re going through. You’re reacting the same way I did, and it fucked me up. Took me months before I was able to realise just how messed up I was. I don’t want you to go through that. Let me help you deal with it.” 

“No, I don’t think so. How can you know? Did Andrew dump you the same way, did he?” Craig snaps, angry at Charles’ attitude. _And here we are, back with the emo whinging again._ Shut up. Just deal with it, alright? _No way. Don’t you try that pseudo-psychobabble on me. You wanted snarky commentary, no? YOU deal with it, bitch._ I shake my head at you, Craig. 

“No. He sold me to Julian. I fucking loved Andrew, and out of the blue, Chris came along and Andrew had a new toy. He got rid of me by selling me to the highest bidder. That’s all I was to him: a slave to be bought and sold. Ever since that day, I have longed to be back with Andrew again, but I know it won’t happen. Julian won’t sell me and Andrew won’t buy me. At least you had choice. I had to accept whatever happened to me. I fucking cried the day I was handed over. I resisted Julian for a week before he broke me in. By then, I’d been retrained. Andrew wasn’t the one I was supposed to love, it was Julian. I fought my conscience for months before I finally gave in and accepted my new life. I have regretted that moment ever since. I gave up on the one Master who truly loved me to believe he thought I was pathetic and not worth loving. I let Julian pervert the love I had for Andrew. It still makes me angry now to think I let him do that to me, but I was powerless to stop him. I was only allowed to deal with it after Julian released me. Please, don’t let it consume you. Don’t seek revenge. It won’t make you any happier. Just let it go and move on,” Charles says. 

“Yeah. That’s what Julian told me to do. Move on. Find someone else. He doesn’t realise how difficult that is. I can’t go back and work with Chris anymore. I just can’t. Just being with him makes me so angry. What am I supposed to do? Stay out here as an exile like you? No, he won’t ruin this. He won’t stop me seeing my friends. I need closure, Charles, and I don’t know how to achieve that,” Craig says. _Still conflicted, I see._ Is that a problem? _No, not really. Just saying._ Good. 

“Look, you don’t have to do what I say. I just don’t want you self-destructing because of this. I can see how angry and hurt you are. If you’re not careful, it’ll control you. He’s not worth all this anger, believe me. Use the next couple of weeks to relax and just forget him completely. It’ll do you so much good to just let go of all that anger. Go find your inner peace. Go discover your own self-worth. I know that’s taken a beating, from what you’ve told me. You’re so much better than this. You deserve much better than him. I don’t care what you do, go out and act like the slut he accused you of being for all I care, just get over him, alright? Now, do you want some coffee or are you ready to go to sleep?” Charles says. 

“I wanna sleep, that’s what. Are you done lecturing me?” Craig says. _Fuck off, Charles. I had enough of Julian lecturing me. I didn’t come here to get the same from you._ Then what did you come to America for? _To get away from Chris and Andrew._ Right. You keep telling yourself that. 

“For the moment, yes,” Charles says. 

“Good. Now fuck off. I wanna sleep,” Craig says. 

Shaking his head, Charles leaves him be, closing the door behind him. Craig slumps down on his bed, irritated and tired, wondering if Charles was planning to lecture him every night. With a sigh, he got up and pulled his clothes off, rummaging through his case to find pyjamas, which he pulled on lazily before climbing into bed and falling asleep, curled under the blankets. _Oh, look, another convenient place to leave things. I’m asleep now. How original._ Shut up, will you? It’s a good place to stop. Then I can work on making you go crazy, though by the look of things, you shouldn’t have any problems with that at all. _And what’s that supposed to mean?_ What do you think it means? _I’m not a psycho or anything, you know._ Well, give me an alternative ending then that doesn’t involve you going mad and I’ll consider it. _Fine._ Good. Now shut up, I want to sleep myself. 


	6. Lovesong: Chapter Two

Back home, life is continuing as normal. Or at least as normal as possible. No one mentions Craig’s absence. They don’t need to. Julian does nothing, Chris sits around blaming himself, Andrew tries to comfort him and Chas, well, Chas doesn’t like not knowing what’s going on and arranges to call Charles to see how Craig’s doing. So that Craig doesn’t find out Chas is keeping tabs on him, Charles kicks him out for the afternoon, telling him to go entertain himself. When Craig’s gone, Chas calls. 

“Hey there,” Chas says. 

“Hi. It’s been a while,” Charles says. “Well, not that long.” 

“Long enough. How’re you doing?” 

“As well as can be expected. Are you guys alright?” 

“Yeah, I suppose so. I know it’s only been a few days but I wanted to make sure Craig was alright.” 

“Was he always this moody? Or is that just fall-out from what happened?” 

“A bit of both, I think.” 

“Hmm. He’s been out clubbing mostly. Came home after staying out all night a couple of days ago. No idea where he went, but he was pissed. We had a talk when he got home. I don’t know if he even wants to listen to me anymore. The more I try to reach him, the further he pulls away. I’m about to give up and let him go out and get pissed every night if it makes him happy and means I don’t need to deal with him. Why did you send him to me anyway?” _Apparently, I need supervision. I’m 31! I do not need any fucking supervision._ Yeah, you just keep telling yourself that, Craig. 

“He needed to talk to you, you know, about before. Let him go travelling around the country if it makes him happy. I didn’t expect you to put up with him the whole time he’s there. If he wants to go, let him go. He’s not your responsibility.” 

“I know, but I’ve seen how cut up he is. I’m afraid to let him out of my sight too long. I’m afraid that if he keeps this up, he’ll go mad, but I don’t know what else to do with him.” _You can stop fucking mothering me all the fucking time, Charles._ Was all that swearing necessary? _You know it fucking was. Shut up and write._

“If he can’t deal with it, that’s his problem. I hope he gets better though. Chris really misses him.” 

“From what I understand, it was all his fault, wasn’t it?” 

“It was, but try telling Craig that Chris didn’t mean what he did. Craig seemed determined never to forgive him.” 

“Well, we’ll have to change that, won’t we?” 

“I hope you can handle him. Don’t be afraid to challenge him, alright? He’s staying under your roof. If he doesn’t like it, he can fuck off and stay elsewhere.” 

“Hmm, I suppose so. I just don’t know what to say to him. He feels like we’ve kept him out of the loop, like we don’t trust him. I can’t believe he thought I’d side with him over Chris and Andrew. He really didn’t know about them, you know. I thought everyone knew.” 

“So did I. Just goes to show you shouldn’t assume anything.” 

“True. Oh, did I mention he’s still in love with Chris?” 

“You’re joking, right? He still loves him? What the fuck for? After all that shit, he still loves him? That it. He really is bonkers.” _Thank you for that considered and balanced assessment, Chas._

“Yeah. Apparently, it wasn’t all bad. Apparently Chris was wonderful at times. I suppose that might explain why he’s so cut up about it. He really loved him, Chas. Chris’ betrayal is a very bitter pill for him to swallow and frankly, I’m not convinced he’s coping at all. He bitches about it without really telling me anything and always seems to be avoiding having to deal with it. I don’t like what it’s doing to him. I want to get him some help but I’m afraid it’ll just be the trigger he needs to run away again. He’s already run this far. I’m not letting him run any further.” 

“You really think it’s that bad?” 

“I hope to God it isn’t, but unless he starts dealing with this properly, I’m deeply concerned that he’ll self-destruct.” 

“Shit. You’re serious? He’s barely been there three days and you’re already that worried about him?” 

“If you’d seen his behaviour over the last few days, you’d be worried too.” 

“You really think there’s a chance he’ll go mad from all this?” 

“I don’t know what to think. Maybe I’m just being overprotective and worrying needlessly about him. I just wish he’d talk to me and stop being so fucking hostile. Fighting me is not going to make things better.” Charles sighs in frustration. 

“Maybe it’s his way of letting off steam? Maybe he’ll get to the point of sheer frustration and he won’t be able to hold it in any longer. I don’t know. Don’t write him off just yet. Give him time to settle down, alright? He’s probably still jetlagged, you know.” 

“Or maybe he really doesn’t know how to deal with it, and getting pissed and fucked senseless is the only way that helps?” 

“You have to make him face this. He can’t just get pissed every night and hope that he can drink the pain away. It won’t happen, and the sooner he accepts that, the better. Shit, I gotta go. Julian wants me for something. I’ll call again soon, ok?” 

“Yeah, talk to you later.” 

Charles puts the phone down and rests his head against a hand. Craig’s causing him more headaches than normal. 

“What the fuck am I gonna do with you, Craig?” he murmurs. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Two days later, Craig goes out again, wanting to meet up with Bartholomew and Jordan again. He finds them in the same club as before, lounging on the back sofas, waiting for him. 

“Craig. I wondered if you’d show again. Couldn’t resist, hey?” Jordan says as Craig sits down beside him. 

“Couldn’t resist. Besides, what else am I going to do for fun around here?” Craig says. 

“Oh, I’m sure we can think of something. Drink?” Jordan offers. 

“Yeah, thanks,” Craig says. 

Craig snuggles against Jordan as Bartholomew fetches him a drink. As much as he wants to fuck them again, he can’t stop thinking about Chris. His drink isn’t quite as tasty as it was last time. He finds himself staring at the floor, unable to shake his melancholy. 

“You alright, mate? “ Bartholomew says. 

“Sorry, just – thinking about my ex. Bad habit, I know,” Craig says. 

“What was he like? He must’ve been pretty special to make you this upset,” Bartholomew says. 

“He was. He was very special. He was beautiful, charming, intelligent. He was perfect. He knew how to bring me round after we’d fought. We used to fight a lot about… many things. We’d break up every few months. It would last a week before he’d bring me chocolate and champagne and apologise. I took him back every fucking time. Every fucking time he came grovelling back to me like some sick puppy, I was too in love with him to resist his charms. And I knew he’d break my heart again and I’d be stupid enough to take him back again. The make-up sex was wonderful. He was wonderful. But, I lost him now. We broke up for good. He cheated on me, but I can’t accept that he never loved me the entire time we were together. I feel like I don’t know him anymore,” Craig says, sculling his drink. _You keep making me angsty. Why? I’m not angsting – will you learn to type properly?_ I’m doing the best I can. _Try harder._ You’re such a charmer, Craig. 

“Man, that’s harsh. He was a jerk. I know guys like that. Not worth your time, Craig,” Jordan says, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. 

Craig struggles to hold back his tears. Crying in front of his new fuckbuddies is not what he wants to do right now. Jordan wipes his tears away with his thumb. 

“Hey, don’t cry. He’s not worth it. Want us to cheer you up?” Jordan says. 

Craig managed a weak smile. “Yeah, that’d be nice.” 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Craig staggers home early in the morning after a good hard shagging, only to get as far as the living room, collapsing on one of the couches, crying about Chris. He’d talked a lot about Chris with Jordan and Bartholomew, and that had only served to churn out his bad memories. He’d left the club in tears after a hug with Jordan, promising to leave Chris behind. 

On the spur of the moment, Craig stumbles towards the desk and grabs the phone, wanting to call him, not sure if Chris is going to answer, but hoping he does. He’ll hang up if anyone else answers. His stomach is all nerves as he waits for the call to connect and for someone to answer it. He freezes as he recognises the voice that eventually speaks to him. 

“Hello?” 

“C-Chris?” 

“Yeah, who’s this?” 

“Is me, Craig. Please don’ hang up on me, I jus’… I miss you. God only knows why I still love you. Is cold over here. I wish you were here t’ hold me.” 

“You’ve been drinking. Who’d you fuck tonight, hmm?” Craig winces at his tone. 

“Jus’ a coupla guys I met. Nothin’ like you though. Take me back. Please. I’m goin’ mad without you. God, I miss you so much. Why don’ you wan’ me?” 

“Craig, we’ve been over this. I love Andrew, not you. I’m sorry. Look, I have to go, things to do… Come back soon, yeah?” 

“Wha’s the point if you won’ be there waitin’ for me?” Craig struggles to hold back his crying.

 “Craig, I really think it’s time you let go of this. This obsession isn’t healthy. Why is it so hard to accept that I don’t love you?” 

“Because you never realised how much I loved you, an’ if you had, then, I dunno, maybe I wouldn’ be in so much pain. I loved you for three fuckin’ years, Taylor! I gave you ev’rythin’ an’ what did I get? Fuckin’ nothin’! Nothin’ part from a broken heart! What more could I have given you? I trusted you, an’ then you went an’ did tha’ an’ now I got a heart that I don’ know how to fix. Why did you have to be so nice? If you’d been a complete arsehole the whole time, I could hate you an’ be perfectly alrigh’, but you were wonderful, an’ I miss that more than anythin’! How could someone so wonderful betray me so horribly?” Craig’s crying now, holding his head in his hands as he talks to Chris. 

“I’m sorry-” 

“I’m sick of you sayin’ you’re sorry! I don’ buy it anymore. You did nothin’ to make up for what you did! I can still see you an’ him together, mauling each other on the sofa, insultin’ me, and I jus’ stood there an’ took it cos I didn’ know what else to do. Came outta nowhere. Never knew you hated me so much.” 

“It was a stupid thing to do, I know that. I never wanted it to happen that way. And I don’t hate you, not at all. I was lying to myself thinking I could escape Andrew forever. It didn’t work. I should have broken things off with you as soon as I worked that out instead of dragging it on like I did. You did nothing wrong. I fucked up. You deserve someone better than me, someone who’ll love you properly the way I should’ve.” 

“But all I wan’ is you, Chris. You’re not perfec’, neither am I. We could’ve made it work, you know. Fuck it, we managed three years, didn’t we?” 

“But we broke up every month or two. That’s no way to have a relationship. We’re too volatile together.” 

“You kept gettin’ scared an’ runnin’ away! The only thing I could think of to do was chase after you! What’s Andrew got that I haven’?” 

“It’s not about that. Andrew – he made me what I am. I don’t feel like I fit anywhere else than with him. No one else fits right, not the way he does. I’m sorry, Craig.” 

“Yeah, you’ll be sorry alrigh’. Can you even comprehen’ how badly I’m hurtin’? I wanna kill you so badly for what you done t’ me. Andrew mus’ be punished for stealing you away from me. I mean it. I’m gonna come back there an’ give you what you deserve. Then you’ll know what I’m going through!” 

“Hey, calm down, Craig. You don’t have to kill me, you know.” 

“Yes I do. Is the only way I’ll find peace. If I can’ ‘ave you, no one will!” 

Craig slams the phone down before Chris has a chance to answer. He’s fuming now. If Chris won’t take him back, he’ll just have to take him by force. Isn’t that what Chris likes anyway? A strong Master willing to fight for him? That’s what he’ll get, alright. A wicked grin crosses Craig’s lips as an idea begins to form in his head. Perhaps he’ll be going home sooner than he previously thought. Now to convince Charles he’s not going crazy and he’ll be closer to getting his revenge. 

Finally focussed for the first time in a long time, Craig sets about planning what he’s going to do when he arrives back in Australia. _Finally. About bloody time you sorted this mess out. And you still can’t fucking type either._ I’m tired, it’s late, I’m allowed to have shitty typing. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Three weeks later… 

“Julian?” Craig’s hesitation shows, but he’s not scared, not anymore. 

“Yes, Craig?” 

“I… I’m ready to come home now.” 

“We’ll be waiting for you. Oh, and Craig? Good to see you’re better now.” 

_If only you knew, Julian. If only you knew just how much better I really am._


	7. Lovesong: Chapter Three

Tired and somewhat anxious to be home at last, the greeting he gets from Julian and Chas at the airport feels kinda overwhelming. Chas brings him into a tight hug, glad to see him back again. Craig finds his embrace strangely comforting. He hadn’t realised how much he’d missed him. 

“I knew you’d come back, mate,” Chas says. 

“Yeah, hard to stay away from you lot. I know you were calling Charles every few days to check up on me. Afraid I’d go crazy on you, hmm?” Craig teases. _What, can’t I hint, even if they don’t believe me?_

“Just making sure you were alright. Besides, someone had to look out for you,” Chas says. 

“Aww, I’m touched, Chassy,” Craig says. 

“We missed you, you know,” Julian says, bringing Craig into a hug. 

“Missed you too. Well, most of you,” Craig says, putting on a brave face and a fake smile. “It was kinda lonely with just Charles for company.” _I wouldn’t have been stuck with just Charles for company if Chris hadn’t dumped me._ You’re pouting again. Stop it. _I am not pouting!_ Yes you are. You’re being a petulant little child. Quit it. _Meanie._

“What about those two guys you met at some club? Got fucked a few times, hey?” Chas takes the opportunity for some teasing of his own. 

“Yeah, just a few. They were nice. Good for a fuck, but that’s about it,” Craig says. “Now, can we go home? I’m exhausted.” 

“Sure. Come on. Let’s get your bags and take you home,” Julian says. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

“Craig. You’re back.” 

Craig stops as he hears Chris’ voice behind him. “Yeah. I’m back.” 

“How are you?” Chris sounds almost hesitant. _So you should be, bitch. Be afraid. I’ll have you back even if it kills me._

“Tired. Jetlagged. In dire need of decent food and sleep,” Craig says, unable to stop the irritation creeping into his voice. 

“Here, let me take your case. It’s good to have you back,” Chris says, coming up to Craig. 

Craig lets him take his case from him, not sure how to act around him. He follows Chris as he leads him to his room. It’s just how he left it. Chris sets his case on the bed and steps aside. Craig surveys the room, trying to avoid looking at Chris. _It’s too painful to look at him. I’d smack him round the head, but I don’t think that’s the best thing to start off with._ Probably not.

“We’ve got some Chinese ordered. Want some beer? What I mean is, shit, you settle in, alright? We’ll have some food for you in no time.” 

“Yeah. Thanks. It’s…” Craig’s voice trails off, unsure how to finish his sentence. 

“Yes, Craig?” 

“It’s good to see you.” 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Craig gets out of the car and into the pouring rain, hugging his jacket close to him as he runs across the road to the shop. It isn’t the sort of shop he’d usually visit, but the circumstances dictate that he visits this place. He hurries inside, shaking the water from his hair, cursing the bad weather. The store is dark, empty and cold, almost like it is outside. Craig knows what he wants as he approaches the counter, arms wrapped around him in a bid to keep warm. _Fucking rain. So cold right now._ The older man behind the desk looks up as he approaches.

 “Can I help you?” the man asks. 

“Hand guns. What have you got?” Craig says.

“We’ve got several types if you want-” 

“Glock 19 compact 9mm. You got ‘em?” 

“Sure. You know how to shoot?” 

“Of course I know how to shoot. I wouldn’t be buying a gun if I didn’t know how to shoot.” 

“Alright, alright. Don’t you get agro with me. Come on. Out the back.” 

Craig follows the man out the back to where the handguns are kept, the ones Craig had heard he could buy without a license as long as he can prove he knows how to shoot straight. The owner is a dubious character who does sell licensed weapons to his clientele, while keeping criminals, gangsters and their ilk armed to the teeth with imported hand guns, rifles and ammo. _Charming. Just what I need._

The back of the shop is almost like a garage, musty smelling, cold and damp. The man turns a light on and pulls a case out from under a bench. 

“Here. Take your pick. Hit the target with 80% accuracy and it’s yours,” the man says, grabbing a Glock 9mm out and offering it to Craig. 

“Excellent. Ammo?” 

“Here. Oh, and wear these. It can get a little loud and dusty in here,” the man says, handing Craig a pair of safety glasses and ear muffs. 

Craig puts them on and loads the gun, taking aim at the target at the end of the room. _Think of Chris. Think of how good it’ll feel to see Andrew’s blood draining across the floor._

Craig fires. Each shot punctures the target to some degree. Its sheer luck he manages to get enough within the target range and convinces the man he indeed knows how to shoot. _How convenient._ Shut up. You’re not getting a gun any other way. Deal with it.

Craig leaves somewhat poorer but happier now that he has his gun. He drives home, not caring about the rain anymore, sneaking inside again to hide the gun away before Julian catches him with it. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Craig lies in bed at night a week later, awake, staring at the clock. The numbers ever so slowly increase. Craig slides a hand under his pillow, clutching the gun tightly, ready to move when the time is right. He wants to make sure everyone’s asleep before he begins. He doesn’t want to get caught. His targets are Chris and Andrew. The others don’t need to get involved. He’s already dressed, the things he needs close at hand. Whatever happened, Chris would be his. He’s determined to win him back. Nothing else matters. No one will stand in his way, not even Andrew or Julian. _They get in the way and I’ll fucking shoot them._ Such the charmer, you are. 

The numbers on the clock flick over to announce 2am. Listening carefully, Craig decides to act now, or he’ll never get his chance. He quietly gets out of bed and grabs his bag that was sitting by the foot of the bed, waiting for him. He loads the gun, ready to use. With a final check to ensure everyone’s asleep, he stalks across the floor towards Chris and Andrew’s room, slinging the bag across his shoulder. 

He presses against the door, listening to them. Leading with the gun, he quietly opens the door and peers in, wanting to make sure they’re sleeping. Chris and Andrew are lying there, still and quiet, Andrew lying on his stomach, his arms lying across Chris’ chest. With care, Craig stalks forward, keeping the gun aimed at them. He doesn’t want to shoot them before time, but he will if he needs to make an escape. 

Craig crawls onto the bed as gently as he can, trying not to step on their limbs. He lies across them, making sure he’s holding them down. The gun is trained at their faces. He seizes the opportunity in front of him and quickly grabs Andrew’s wrists, securing them behind his back with metal handcuffs before Chris wakes. Andrew soon wakes as well, but Craig won’t have any disobedience. _Not now. You won’t ruin this for me now._

“Don’t move, Andrew. I’ll kill him if I have to,” Craig says, holding the gun to Chris’ neck. 

Andrew holds still, not wanting to see if Craig’s just bluffing. With a knee in his back, Craig moves to secure Chris’ wrists behind his back. Chris is too scared to fight him. Once they’re secured, Craig adds ball gags to ensure a quiet get away. 

“On your feet, both of you. Not a word, not even a sound, and I will kill him. And no, I’m not bluffing. I’m prepared to use this weapon if I have to. Get up. Now,” Craig says, still keeping the gun aimed at Chris as he steps back a bit to let them get up. 

Craig follows Chris to his feet, a hand grabbing hold of Andrew, making him stand as well. Chris and Andrew stand there as Craig grabs jackets for them, throwing them over their shoulders to hide their arms. Grabbing his bag, he pushes them forward, making sure to keep one hand on Andrew and the gun pointed straight at Chris. 

Chris and Andrew walk stiffly, Craig pushing them onwards and out of the warehouse. Craig never lets the gun leave Chris’ neck as he fumbles in his bag for the keys to Julian’s car. He shoves them in the back seat, making sure there’s a seat between them, before securing seat belts on them. Craig stops, as if pondering his next move. He digs around in his bag and pulls out a couple of draw string bags and ties them both around Chris and Andrew’s heads, blinding them to where they’re going. Finally satisfied, Craig shuts the door and climbs into the driver’s seat and revs the motor, wanting to get away. Before he drives off, he turns back to them, pointing the gun at the seat between them. 

“Just so we’re clear about who’s in charge,” Craig says as he fires at the seat once. He watches Chris and Andrew visibly pull away from the noise. “We’re just going to go for a little drive, boys. Hold tight.” 

Craig pulls back and tears away from the warehouse and into the night, glancing back at his cargo in the rear view mirror every so often to see that they’re still behaving. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

The sound of the gun shot is enough to wake Julian as the car speeds off. He rushes out of bed, only to see the back of his car disappearing into the night. 

“Craig. He hasn’t-” 

Julian doesn’t finish his sentence as he goes back inside to check if Craig’s still there. He bursts into his room, switching on the light. The absence of Craig and his neatly made bed is enough confirmation for him. He runs across the floor to Chris and Andrew’s room, finding it also empty. 

“Shit. Shit, shit, shit. Chassy!” Julian calls as he runs back to Chas’ room. 

Chas stares up at him, bleary-eyed and half-asleep. “What the fuck, Jules? Are you alright?” 

“I think Craig’s taken Chris and Andrew,” Julian says hurriedly. 

“Taken them? Taken them where? What are you talking about?” Chas says, sitting up in bed. 

“I don’t know. He just sped off in my car, Chas! Chris and Andrew aren’t here either. I’ve got a bad feeling about this. We need to find them. Come on, get up. We need to get to them before Craig does something really stupid,” Julian says. 

“It’s Craig. What do you think he’ll do? He’s not some deranged killer,” Chas says. 

“He bought a gun. I don’t know where he got it, I don’t want to know, but that alone scares me,” Julian says. 

“A gun? Why didn’t you take it off him before then?” Chas says. 

“I didn’t want to spook him. But now’s not the time to go over that. If Craig’s got a gun, he hasn’t taken Chris and Andrew for a nice little joyride late at night. This is serious,” Julian says. 

“Alright, alright, I believe you. Got any idea where they might be?” Chas says, getting up at last. 

“I don’t know, but I have a few ideas. I just hope we’re not too late,” Julian says as he watches Chas pull some clothes on. 

“We’re not calling the cops?” Chas says. 

“Only as a last resort. I don’t want to spook him. If he’s deranged enough to do this, having him surrounded by cop cars will only make things worse. I want a chance to talk to him first,” Julian says. 

When Chas is ready, Julian grabs a jacket and they both head out in Craig’s car, since Craig had so helpfully stolen Julian’s. Julian’s glad he knows where Craig stashes his keys. Makes chasing after him that much more helpful. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Craig had planned his route out perfectly and manages to avoid suspicion as he pulls up at a small cabin hidden away by the city. Parking the car, Craig gets out and pulls Chris and Andrew out, pushing them forward and inside the small wooden hut. There’s only two rooms, a small living area followed by a bedroom. It’s run-down, long uninhabited, and secreted away where no one looks. Craig pushes them into the bedroom, shoving them against the wall. 

“Sit down. Now,” Craig says, pointing the gun at them. 

Unsure where they are or what’s about to happen to them, they obey, sliding down the wall to sit on the damp floor. Craig kneels before them and pulls the hoods off them, looking at them both. He stares at them for some time, considering his words. He caresses Chris’ cheek, seeing the fear in his eyes. He doesn’t want him to be afraid, but he’s lost for any other way to deal with this. He’s too lovesick to think clearly anymore. Gently, carefully, he removes Chris’ gag, not wanting to hurt him. 

“This ends now, alright? I’m sick of watching you two parading your love around! You’ve shoved a knife in my heart, Chris, and it twists and turns every day, never killing, no, no, never killing, but ever so slowly drawing in closer, burying itself deeper and deeper, and one day it’ll be in so deep, it won’t be able to be removed, and you’ve done this to me, Chris, you did, and I don’t know how to make it stop. It burns, it aches, the pain never ceases. What have you done to me? I hate you and love you with equal passion. I can’t cope with being so conflicted! Please, make it stop. Say you love me. Please. I need to hear you say you need me. Please, I’m a mess. Look what you’ve reduced me to. I miss you every day. I missed you every day I was away. Please, please, take the pain away. I can’t deal with this anymore. I love you, Chris. You’re the only thing in this world worth living for. I need you. Say you need me too,” Craig says, struggling to keep composed now that he’s here. 

“I-I can’t Craig. I don’t love you. Nothing will change my mind,” Chris says softly. 

Craig falls back onto the ground, legs folding beneath him, palms pressing into his eyes in a bid to stop his tears. “I fucking need you. Can’t you fucking understand that?” 

“Let it go, Craig. This isn’t healthy. I don’t like seeing you so upset,” Chris says. 

“I can’t just let go. You mean too much to me to just let go. I loved you! I love you! Why the fuck didn’t you tell me you subbed to Andrew years ago?” Craig says, waving the gun around. 

“I thought you already knew. Everyone else did. And-and then Andrew said not to tell you. He didn’t want you going crazy or anything. Like it would’ve made a difference,” Chris says. 

Craig holds his head in his hands, taking a deep breath. “What’s wrong with me? Why the fuck aren’t I good enough for you?” 

“It’s not about that. I tried to escape the bonds I formed with Andrew, but it was too hard. I just couldn’t. Before I knew it, I’d slipped back into his arms, just like before. Nothing could replace him. I belong to him. I always will. The scar across my heart marks me as his. I’m sorry, Craig. I can’t love you,” Chris says. 

“Scar? What scar?” Craig says, grabbing at Chris’ shirt, wanting to see for himself. Roughly, Craig gets his shirt out of the way enough to reveal the scar across his heart. Craig brushes his fingers over it, tracing the letters. 

“It marks me as Andrew’s. I’m sorry, Craig. I belong to him. He will always be my Master,” Chris says. 

“Traitor,” Craig growled, shoving Chris back against the wall. “This is all your fault,” he says, turning the gun on Andrew. “You stole him from me. Give him back, you bastard!” 

Andrew glances at Chris, unable to speak. The anger and pain in Craig’s eyes isn’t comforting. He freezes as the gun comes to rest between his eyes. Andrew swallows. Craig wouldn’t _really_ shoot him, would he? _You bet I fucking would._

“You’re responsible for all this. You fucking stole him from me! Is there nothing you won’t mess in? All I wanted was to be loved and you fucking ruined it! I’ll kill you for this! Traitors!” Craig’s really beginning to sound mad. _You got that right._

“So just what were you planning to do to us once you got us out here?” Chris says, trying to diffuse the situation. 

“I’m going to kill you. What else? If you can’t love me, you deserve to die,” Craig says coldly. 

“I’m sorry for what’s happened. I didn’t want to hurt you. I was stupid, ok? Will you please let us go? How is killing us going to solve anything?” Chris says. 

“It’ll make me feel better. Come on, Andrew. Let’s show your slave what a weak master you really are,” Craig says, grabbing Andrew by the collar and pulling him to his feet. “Wretched little shit. Time to treat you like the dog you are,” Craig says, shoving Andrew onto the bed. 

Still holding the gun, Craig climbs onto the bed as Andrew squirms below him. Craig sits on his hips, staring down at him, waiting. Andrew can’t see him, being face down on the bed, and he doesn’t like the way Craig’s caressing his thighs with the barrel of the gun, teasing him with death. He’d scream if he could. There’s a sick feeling in his stomach as the gun moves up his back towards his neck. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Julian approaches the old wooden hut carefully as he spots his car parked outside. He pulls up against a wall and turns the engine off. Chas gets out and follows Julian towards the hut. 

“How did you know they’d be here?” Chas whispers. 

“I didn’t. This was just the first place on my list,” Julian says. 

“So now what?” 

“I don’t know. I just hope we’re not too late.” 

“Should we call out? Do you think he knows we’re here?” 

“Craig! Craig, you in there?” Julian calls out. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

Inside the hut, Craig freezes. _No, don’t you ruin this now. Not after everything I’ve planned for._

“Shit. What’s he doing here?” 

Craig pulls Andrew to his knees and shoves him off the bed. 

“Back next to Chris. Don’t move. Don’t make a sound,” Craig says, pointing the gun at them. 

Andrew carefully sits down next to Chris. Craig keeps his gun trained on them as he peers out a window, seeing Chas and Julian carefully making their way towards him. 

“Shit. Shit. This is not good,” he says, checking again that the gun is loaded and ready. He turns to his captives sitting against the wall, aiming the gun at Andrew in particular. “Whatever happens, this is all your fault, Chris.” 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

The two gun shots send Julian and Chas into a frenzy. 

“Craig! Don’t you go anywhere!” Julian calls, running towards the hut. 

“Stay the fuck away from me!” calls Craig from inside the hut. 

“Craig. Don’t hurt anyone. Come out of there. Come and talk to us,” Julian says. 

Craig doesn’t answer. There’s tense silence as they wait for him. After a few minutes, Craig comes staggering out, gun still held loosely in one hand, manic look in his eyes as he wanders towards them. 

“I thought I told you to stay the fuck away from me,” Craig says slowly. 

“Craig, put the gun down. Don’t hurt anyone, alright?” Julian says. 

“Ha! Don’t hurt anyone? I’m already hurt! What does it matter now if I’m hurting?” Craig yells. 

“Are they still alive in there?” Julian says. 

“Maybe. Why? Would you miss them if they died? Would you miss me?” Craig said, taking a few steps towards the side of the road near the river. 

“Of course we’d miss you. We’d miss them too. Calm the fuck down and throw the gun away,” Chas says. 

“No! Stay the fuck away from me! Don’t you understand? This has never been about you! Why did you have to interfere? I had everything sorted until you turned up! But don’t worry. I’ll save you the fucking misery of having to deal with me,” Craig says, raising the gun to his temple. 

“No! Craig, d-” 

The gun has gone off before either of them can stop him. Julian and Chas run over to him, watching his still body on the ground. Julian’s got his phone out calling for help. Chas is near panic. 

“Go check the others. Make sure they’re alive,” Julian says. 

Chas remains staring at Craig’s body. 

“Go! They might be dying!” 

Julian’s insistence shakes Chas out of his trance and he runs back inside the hut. He finds Chris and Andrew leaning heavily against the wall. Both appear to be alive, albeit bleeding. Chas wasted no time going to their side. 

“Shit, you guys alright?” Chas says. 

Chris looks up at him. “I’ve been better. Is he-?” 

“Dead? Yeah. Jules is getting help. Can you walk at all?” Chas says. 

“Andrew can’t. Craig shot his hip. He got my leg. He’s a lousy shot,” Chris says.

 “Don’t worry, we’ll get you out of here,” Chas says. 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~ 

A week later, Chris and Andrew are back at home, nursing their wounds. No one’s had a chance to comprehend what happened. Craig’s been dead for a week and no one says anything. The warehouse is eerily quiet. They’re all in the lounge room watching distracting TV, waiting for the funeral later on in the day. 

“Do you miss him?” Chas says into the silence. 

“Yeah. I do. He was right. Everything is my fault. I made him like that. I’m sorry Andrew. I got you hurt,” Chris murmurs. 

“Craig was misguided and lost. We didn’t do anything to save him. It’s as much our fault as his for going crazy,” Andrew says. 

“I tried so hard to save him, you know. I thought I was getting somewhere, but clearly, I was mistaken. It’s funny what love drives us to do, isn’t it?” Julian says.


End file.
